A GIANT PUMPKIN

I get to carve this bad boy Saturday!
and i know what you're thinking,
Friday is Halloween. Not Saturday.
I'm fully aware of this but i have reason!
I'm going to a costume party on saturday night with a good friend
and we decided to have a full out amazing saturday of fun filled awesomeness

The Agenda:

1. Carve Pumpkin
2. Take Pictures of Pumpkin
3. Bake/Decorate Cookies
4. Finish sewing our black sheep/white sheep costumes
5. Go skate in our costumes
6. Throw giant pumpkin off of bridge and see it splode.
7. Go to party.
8. Lastly, Make a video while doing all of this

I am so very excited for this weekend!

What if,

Every day was treated like a new beginning?

Where grudges, bitterness, unforgiveness, and worries died the moment your head hit the pillow. And at the time you had awaken to a new morning your mind would be renewed, not lacking knowledge or wisdom from the past, but building on what has been made from prior situations and circumstances.

Each person you'd come into contact with you'd treat like it had been the first time you'd met them and your first impression persona was at the top of it's game. Being kind, loving, unconditional in terms of your friendship in how things are done to show thanks. What if, we did things without having presumptuous intentions of wanting to be thanked for what we had done.

What if, we shared our gifts just out of love and never had the expectations of wanting to be loved in return, because we had the reassurance of knowing we're already loved regardless of what we do.

What if, our confidence was placed in something bigger then ourselves so that our dreams weren't limited to our own fears and insecurities.

What if, believing was reality?

Will you be my Jim Halpert?

And i use Jim only because i just got finished watching the office.
Not that i really want an identical Jim Halpert, but i would enjoy a friend like him.

The reason i pose a question in my title, is this:

I have no problem standing on my own.
No problem, going to a wedding without a date,

A party with no dancing partner,

The movies with no one to cling to,

and I’ve even adjusted to going to the mall and shopping by myself too.

Now, this may sound slightly depressing or fairly stupid but hear me out.

I’m ok with doing these things alone.

I’m sure a few years ago I wouldn’t feel complete if I didn’t have a guy on my arm to do these things with, but I’ve learned to love myself without needing reassurance of who I am by the title of my Status on myspace.

I love who I am and everything that comes along with me. I’m not perfect, which has been the hardest thing to swallow, but I’m human and every mistake I make gets me closer to who I want to be, by learning from it.

Now a couple months ago I would not be able to tell you any of this but now I can confidently say:

I’m Ready to

Trust someone with my heart

Take a chance on love (godliest form)

Hold someone’s hand and not feel convicted

Dance with someone and not care whose looking

Go see a horror movie and cling to someone’s sweatshirt on the scary parts

Buy matching shoes just for the sake of “being cute”

Support someone’s dreams and visions and have them support mine in return

Be an open ear to comfort when comfort is needed

A hug when words won’t do

Bake someone’s favorite cookies just to make them feel special

Compliment someone’s strengths and weaknesses

Talk things out instead of walking out

I’m ready...

Say wha MTV?

So Earlier in the year i got a message from a person named Lauren who said she was with MTV and wanted me to do some type of video review, but i would have to send in some personal information in order for everything to work out. My first initial reaction was that this person was a dirty liar just trying to get my number, so i ignored the message and made nothing of it. Turns out, it really was MTV. The707Juveniles actually followed through with email and wound up on TV.

so i emailed this Lauren person and told her if anything new was going on to let me know and a couple weeks ago i recieved a message telling me about this webcam video show, similar to american idol, and tomorrow i'll be like a member of the audience or something. Honestly, i'm not certain. But i do know one thing i cannot sing! Now i'm terrified. Because, what if they chose me to sing? Imma crap my pants and die right there. GAHHH!

who know's if the show will get picked up but i'm along for the ride. This is quite exciting :D
Maybe.. just maybe... "I'll get discovered"

My trip

It was so nice seeing Whitney. Knowing that she's a real person and not just some "internet friend" who lives next to jlo.



I sometimes question the amount of time i invest into these friendship's via the www. considering the fact, for the most part, that's all they could ever be. I can't call Whitney up some random day and see if she wants to hang out or give Zack a hug whenever i feel like it. Shoot, i cant even ride my sweet razor scooter with Aubrey if i wanted too. I'm limited to the time i can actually spend with the people i truly care about.



So when i was able to see her it made me feel like i hadn't made her up in my mind and there was a nice sense of reassurance knowing that she really did exist. It was a nice feeling. My trip was overall nothing short of amazing. i was awake +30 hours and experienced an amazing amount of inside jokes with two awesome friends and my lil brother. Thank you Jesus for this trip!

Fin

Picture caption: [insert your thoughts here]

So i finished reading Looking for Alaska by John Green. I must say he is a very talented writer. The story was well worth reading although i probably wouldn't suggest it to my mentoree's. Just based off of the vulgarity in the content at times. But, that is just my personal opinion/taste in reading material. I am going to pick up a copy of Paper Towns. I'm curious to see how his writing style varies.


I also finished reading The Magicians Nephew by C.S. Lewis (i think i already mentioned this..) and it didn't take me long to finish. It was amazing!!! If you liked the movie The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe you will definitely love this book. It ties in all the missing pieces of how Narnia came about who the white witch is and so on, and so on. I enjoyed it very much.


I enjoyed it so much, i went out and bought the rest of the series in one huge-mungous book! Which i'm reading at the moment. I'm currently on the second book The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and surprisingly it is still very interesting even though i've already seen the movie. Reading the book is totally different.


Oh and i'm still reading Mere Christianity and The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Now, I've made improvement on Mere Christianity. I'm in chapter 4 of book two and its getting easier to comprehend because it's less "cheesecakie" (ha) but still I'm taking my time with this bad boy. i want every chapter to soak in. I'm also learning sooo much, alot of the pages are highlighted and marked up with lil post it's of notes. The Screwtape letters is also very good, but i'll be honest, I've been neglecting it. I'm only on chapter 4. Not that the book isnt worth reading, i just havent gotten around to it as much.



My last "Also"
I'M LEAVING FOR LAGUNA/LA TOMORROW!!! GAH!
[technically saturday morning but it'll be dark outside so it will still feel like friday]

Hm..

I'm excited.
Road Trip.
Bff4l meet up.
Gathering meet up thingy.

I haven't done something like this in a while.
[crazy spontaneous road trip]

There will be many a pictures
and many a thoughts on Sunday.

Mhm.

I Made

A new Video.



So i counted and I'm pretty sure it's some where between 47-50 facts i state during the period of this video. Hopefully i get a lot of questions, appropriate ones, so i can make a sweet video.
So, if you have any you've been dyinnngg to know... Email me!

My Thoughts

My eyes start to water from the semi blinding vibrant light shining through the bulbs of my ceiling fan. I look away and close my eyes to see what type of picture might form if I close them tight enough. The outline of the bulbs resembles an animal, or a distorted smiley face, or even a butterfly. I'm not certain, the size keeps changing. I quickly open my eyes and the white shapes start to fade. I turn on my side restlessly, in hopes that I'll find more comfort in that position and might be able to fall asleep. Unfortunately, no matter which way I might lay, sleep is ultimately unattainable.

You see, my body is utterly exhausted but my mind never rests. My thoughts keep me up at night, they strangle any possibility of assurance, equanimity, or peace. They walk me through the repetitive occurrences of my day, week, and hidden conflicts within myself. Every conversation, situation, and circumstance is replayed in my mind, only to make me question my own judgment and social abilities. Sometimes, I'm very constructive in my reasoning and encouraging depending on the situation but other times I'm my worst critic. In all honesty, I do very little to try and prevent these these thoughts from strangling my much desired dreams. I only encourage them by giving unnecessary attention to the seeds of doubt, worry, and insecurity that take deep root in my mind and are ultimately responsible for my lack of sleep.

Ah yes, it is not my thoughts that kill my peace, but it is my free will that destroys it.

The battlefield of the Human Mind.

"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" -2 Corinthians 10:3-5, NIV

Reading

Several Great Books


Like this one... (Mere Christianity)



and this one... (The Screwtape Letters)



Oh! and this one! (Looking for Alaska)


Something to think about:

"If there was a controlling power outside the universe, it could not show itself to us as one of the facts inside the universe-no more than the architect of a house could actually be a wall or staircase or fireplace in that house. The only way in which we could expect it to show itself would be inside ourselves as an influence or a command trying to get us to behave in a certain way."-C.S. Lewis

I'll Tell You

One thing..
I love good company.

Simple things like picture messages, cheesy pickup lines, and secret Skype crypto games
make my heart smile.

Captivated

Today, I felt the need to do something "active" aside from vigorous typing and mouse clicking. So, I went to the park and brought my soccer ball to kick around. I kind of just wanted to be alone.. Not that I always like to but this was a time where it called for it. Sounds depressing, but it was actually a lot of fun.

After ten minutes of a few soccer drills i threw in the towel for my "activeness" for the day and collapsed on the grass. I didn't really want to go home just yet so laid out on the grass and looked up at the clouds. I had some sweet worship music going on my Ipod so it made for a real serene moment. The crazy thing is, I totally lost track of time and stayed out on the field for 45 minutes. It was nice knowing that i didn't have to worry about the time i was losing because who i was spending it with.

Note to self:
Never get too busy
where you no longer have the time to
stop and smell the roses*
get lost in the clouds in the sky
fall asleep in a warm bed of grass
or take in the true beauty that God has made as a gift for you
His way of letting you know He's all around.
and never too far away.

If I could

I'd be a Ninja.

1st day of October.
.
.
.
I want pumpkin pie.
End.