3 years of my life
I've kept friendships minimal
to avoid feeling what it was like to lose someone I cared about
I've avoided social gatherings
to escape the feeling of being alone in a crowded room.
I've avoided relationships
because I remember how bad it hurts to give my heart away.
When any of these feelings start to become more of a possibility
I lose my grip, my footing, and my confidence in my complacency.
I'm afraid to feel more than I have felt.
I don't want to hurt
but I'd rather feel something than nothing at all.
I believe there's more to grasp than the grip.
and I can't escape or avoid how I feel right now.
I blame my heart.
"The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith" -1 Timothy 1:5