Monday, March 2, 2009

Someday, I'll learn.


Oh, the bitter sweet consequences of irresponsible actions.

Just one of the many life lessons I seem to be learning this year.

I enjoy the fact that I am growing and am able to avoid history repeating itself, but sometimes I wish I could just learn things the normal way (if there is such a thing). Seems as if, I always take the alternative route of needing to learn EVERYTHING the hard way. It’s like my life is under constant reconstruction. I think I know what I’m doing and the minute I get comfortable I find myself flat on my face, having to learn all over again. I guess you could say it keeps me humble. But man does it hurt.

I feel so broken.

Time to dust off what I thought I knew and learn what He’s trying to teach me.


Hmph.

21 comments:

Tiph said...

Maaann I know that is. And then I read the OT and think, hey, I'm no better than His people all that time ago... and I have a written guide. Sigh.

Michael Midnight said...

I hear ya Strawburry I hear ya. Sometimes when I question why I seem to be so aimless and slow, I cling to the idea that She knows where I'm going and She's just smiling as I find my way.

Chris Alexander said...

Sounds like you are having quite a bit of fun learning the ways of the world. Something that helped me quite a bit throughout my life was to realize that God is not a He/She/Person. God is an energy that is inside of every person, place and thing. Just an idea to conteplate. Keep strong in your journey and Im excited to hear more! <3

JoNny MoDIsEtt said...

If you feel you learned something thats working, and then a wall comes or something pushes you over, do you really think God wants you to start over or instead add to what you've learned. I've always thought he wants me to adapt, because there is a reason I have been going down a road and I would hate to think its only so i can start over again. I also don't know what your talking about right now so maybe I'm wrong just given insight

KRM said...

wow...Meghan, that's the story of my life. I really needed to read that. Thanks. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one that feels that way. Over and over again I do something I shouldn't and I have to learn the hard way. Each time I'm "flat on my face" I realize that the only way for God to get my attention is to "knock me down." He teaches me so much and boy are you right! It hurts SO bad! but I thank Him everyday for doing what he does because without it I would never grow spiritually and just as a person...I have been broken so much! to the point when I thought I could never be put together again and God shows me EVERYTIME WITHOUT FAIL to just have faith in HIM and HE will piece me together again. I love Him so much and I appreciate Him caring for me so much...every time he breaks me down I get stronger. Hold in there girl! God loves you SO much! take heart! <3

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6

Josh T said...

"The harder the rain, the lower the flowers in the garden bend."

"But sister in our darkness a light shines and all I ever want to say for the rest of my life is how that light is God"

These are 2 lines from a band called mewithoutYou that I thought you could appreciate. I think you should check them out. You might not be interested in their sound, but at least look through some of their lyrics. They're outstanding.

Booder said...

i fell today... when i twisted my ankle. and it showed me something: i should be more careful when spin-jumping off of playground equipment in an attempt to tag a 3rd grader simply because im "it."

anywho. ive fallen many times in other not-so-literal ways and i too know that humbling feeling as you taste the dirt in your mouth, spitting out the gritty bits of failure and shame. chin up friend, if you look over, there are plenty of us around who are on the ground with you and we can all help clean the dirt off one another and put band-aids on the scratches =D

Bj said...

hey- I totally know how u feel. totally.... I find that happening all of the time, and i guess i'm just starting to get it.... or maybe i'm just pretending to get it? maybe. cuz it's times like that that bring you closer to God. a friend of mine says you have to throw yourself out on a limb and trust God to catch you if you fall. so yeah... that's all I have to say... i'm gonna follow ur blog... cuz yeah... i like it. oh- and i luv ur youtube channel, and NO I am NOT a stalker. even though it may seem like it. lol. i'm not.

Todd Morales said...

I've learned many things that way but God always has merci and most of the time he gives me a way out if not always.

Trey said...

Well the world is big for you to explore. Too little time with too much to learn

Maybe it would be a good idea to cast rationality aside and go with feelings

Toodles

Alicia said...

God does work in mysterious way, and maybe the way you're going about it is the way God wants you to learn it.

Sometimes you have to get your heart trampled on a few times before lessons are learned, and trust me I know how that goes.

Just let God work in you, and eventually you'll understand why things happened the way that they did.

Joaho said...

Yeap strawburry.. but u know, life gets fun that way..XD

Once one of my grandpa´s friend.. (a really old man too) told me. that the only thing that he had regret about his hole life, was that He had been always been afraid of making mistakes. For the same reason he never did a lot of things. He is now a little grown up man and never let himself the chance to make mistakes and learn new things about them. So..

Take it this way.. every time we go for the wrong way, it is sure that we will learn new things. =P
And u will never regret about the things u did, when u get old. Cause u did them and learn about them.. =P

So.. goo out there Sburry and make things fun!

;)

zebadiah09 said...

Well if you think about it. If you took the easy route, then the result of that wouldn't impact you as much as if you took the hard route. So therefore, you wouldn't be as appreciative. But then on the other hand, it would be nice if you could have a break for once.

In my personal opinion, I feel as if everything happens at the same time (you know, for our convenience) and it affects us to a point where we have no choice but to take a harder route. And then again, there are those times where it was really simple on achieving whatever we were looking for, but my question is do we really learn from it?

I don't know. I guess my way of doing things is that I'm aware of an opposite force that is beyond our control - if you want to put it like that. I mean, if there is an easy way, later down the road there will be a hard way. Or you're happy now, sometime later you'll get hit harder than you've expected.

Anyway, I should apologize. I don't think I have real authority to put my opinion here. But I came across your site via YouTube because I really like your videos and decided to do what any other fan would do. I'm sorry, I hope this is not creepy in any way because - well you don't know me.

But anyway, I hope by now - since it is two weeks later - you've been starting to figure things out. Uhm, I don't really have anything else to say as if this isn't long enough already, but I hope when you read this, you'll somehow be a little bit happier. So I'll sign off saying good night.

-K(z)P.

Jason said...

I can relate to where you are coming from. I'm 27 - opened a computer gaming business in my area with a girlfriend - things turned sour between us. It was bad ><;;

Now the store is closed, I'm in debt up to my eyeballs and I'm learning - the hard way.

Perseverance - Faith

All is as He intends.

MICHAEL J said...

you are God's. You are for him.

Never forget, that failures lies not in falling, but in not getting back up.

The more you get up, the more you win. We're always gonna get knocked down, it's how we take it that counts.

God refines us with fire =]

I exercise to stay healthy and i do weights


when you do weights, what happens is the fibres in your muscles tear a little, and so to make up for that small injury (which hurts the next morning) they heal again, extending themselves and growing bigger, which will eventually make me stronger =] (i hope ;)

kinda the same with you and your heart.

I've been at the bottom a lot. But its that moment when your facedown in the durt, bleeding and hurt, and you realise your still alive...that you then decide what to do with the life you have left...that can define in a part who you are, and how much you love God.

And he WILL honour you for that.

Keep going with these things in mind. They helped me, I hope you can make use of them =]

Your growing stronger, and sometimes that can hurt. But your gonna be alright, because your not alone, Gods with you. =]

MICHAEL J said...

http://bulletsmadeofroses.blogspot.com/

check it out =]

is there a christian blog group on here?

It's really hard to find somewhere like that.

MICHAEL J said...

http://bulletsmadeofroses.blogspot.com/

check it out =]

is there a christian blog group on here?

It's really hard to find somewhere like that.

x0brittx0 said...

Job 5:7 "People are born for trouble as readily as sparks fly up from a fire."

(: we are imperfect, fragile, fractured, and flawed. He uses us anyway. Don't be discouraged - we are all equally born to trouble. He has a great purpose for your life.

Da Binx said...

keep it to yourself loser

(jacob) said...

I'm sorry that this constant hurt breathes upon you. But realize what really creates joy and happiness, and thats having the right focus. Understand that we face trials and challenges daily. But if your focus is where it needs to be then count it all as joy.(James 2:3-4)

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