I don't even want to speak it out.
My bubble i've been living in, my protection, my invincibility has been penetrated by a single word. I'm not nieve to think things like this don't happen. I'm fully aware. Just, never prepared for how it would feel when I heard it in regards to someone I love.
I could be selfish and say, "I'm not ready for you to leave" "I'm terrible at goodbyes" "I want my kids to someday know you" "I don't know who I'm gonna go to when I need that special hug, only you can give" "What'll I do if youre gone? Who will encourage me? Who will listen to me the way you do?" "Please don't go. I need you."
But reality is, I cannot stop time. Nor do I have the capacity to understand the big picture in how it all works. There is truth in reality and although I don't want to see it, I cannot deny it's presence.
Tomorrow is promised to no one. But, there is hope in today.
Jesus help me understand.