Monday, May 11, 2009

The Reality of Reality, Is.

I don't want to believe it.
I don't even want to speak it out.

My bubble i've been living in, my protection, my invincibility has been penetrated by a single word. I'm not nieve to think things like this don't happen. I'm fully aware. Just, never prepared for how it would feel when I heard it in regards to someone I love

I could be selfish and say, "I'm not ready for you to leave" "I'm terrible at goodbyes" "I want my kids to someday know you" "I don't know who I'm gonna go to when I need that special hug, only you can give" "What'll I do if youre gone? Who will encourage me? Who will listen to me the way you do?" "Please don't go. I need you."

But reality is, I cannot stop time. Nor do I have the capacity to understand the big picture in how it all works. There is truth in reality and although I don't want to see it, I cannot deny it's presence. 

Tomorrow is promised to no one. But, there is hope in today.

Jesus help me understand.


Dave said...

I can only infer the true message of your blogpost. But it can apply to my life.

About a year ago, my Dad passed away. I know all who live, will die; It is a part of life. I thought about how life would be without my Dad, but it saddened me to think about life without him.

To keep a long detailed story short, God let me see my Dad in his last day and God let my Dad see me in his last day. My Dad died peacefully in his home with me by his side. He did not regret any part of his life and I got to tell him thank you for everything.

Peace be with you.

Stacey said...

Aw Meghan.. I don't know what happened, but I wish you the best. I'll keep you in my prayers.

TeaLovesYou said...

Meghan, I hope you're ok. Which you're probably not at the moment, but we're here for you, if you need to talk.
I'll keep you in my prayers.

Josh T said...

So sorry. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. God bless.

Anonymous said...

No one is ever prepared for the unexpected but the most important thing is getting through it with a sense of understanding and taking something from that. Whether it's someone's passing or just someone moving on in their life. As long as they appreciate and love you as much as you do them, then there's no doubt you'll see them again someday.

I would quote Seether's "Rise Above This" but you get the point. :)

crumblyhalfthoughts. said...

Your recent posts have been so troubled; and it hurts just to read that such a beautiful person has to deal with such pain. It shouldn't be.

I wish I knew a little more about what was going on with you 'burry, so that I had some words, or peace to offer - but it's obvious to me that you have a lot of support here, and you should take at least some comfort from that.

- x.

dazedANDconfused said...

dear meghan,
i don't know what it is that you are going through right now. and i'm sorry that someone as kind, loving, and passionate as you has to go through it. the truth of reality can be a hard thing to accept even when you know what's happening.
things must be very tough for you right now and although i don't know what's going on i do know one thing. that god never gives us more than we can handle, and he's always there to lift us up even in the darkest times.
"The Lord himself will go before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you for forget you. Don't be afraid and don't worry." deuteronomy 31:8
and meghan, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

god bless you, and i hope you will be doing better soon. and although i do not know you, if you need anything don't hesitate to ask.

i'll be praying for you and your family.

Mallory said...

there is always hope in today . . . oh how hard it is to understand the things that are impossible to understand. people seem to think we as Christians "have it all together" and that things like this don't affect us, they couldn't right? they sometimes forget that though we have our Daddy God to run to when we hurt so much we can't even feel the pain anymore, we're still human.

i'm always here if you need to talk. i know you are an incredibly strong person, and i admire you for all you are and do.

my prayers are with you, as is my heart.

Matt said...

Dear Meghan,

I can't possibly begin to imagine what has been laid so heavily on your heart. I can feel the presence that Christ has in your life, even if you have found yourself struggling as you continue to grow in Him. Your life will face many trials, and there may not be a single encouraging word that anyone here could say that could possibly make you feel better at the moment. Always trust in Jesus, even when you're hurt or angry. When you do so, He'll find a way to bring a peace and understanding to your heart.

Every great person, doing great things in His name, was broken first. Every event, even something tragic, is a chance to grow closer to Him and for Him to help you to grow as a person. I know this may not be of help to you now in what you're feeling, but I hope that you will try to keep this on your heart.

God Bless You, Meghan. All of us will be praying for you.

P.s. I'd like to share a song with you that I recently played at my church. I think the words apply to what you're feeling right now, and I hope that it may touch you in some way. I have linked it (click on my name) should you decide to take a listen.

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